Sunday, August 26, 2012

Heart Troublers


Devotional: Heart Troublers- Read the full devotional here: New Women's Devotional Bible

When the people saw the thunder and the lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear. They stayed at a distance and said to Moses”Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But do not have God speak to us or we will die." Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning.”
Reflection:
1.      Have you ever found yourself fearing God in the way the Israelites feared him at Mt. Sinai?
2.      How does the fear of the Lord keep you from sinning, as God said to Moses?
3.      What “Heart Trouble” are you experiencing right now? Turn to God in trust and ask Him to perform his good work on your behalf.
Related Readings:
               Proverbs 1:1-7
               Proverbs 3: 5-6
               Luke 18:18-27

Sometimes I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I am just worrying and worrying. Did I do this right? Did I say something wrong? When am I going to have peace from this worrying? Am I a good mother, wife, sister, friend? I don’t know if this is fear, but maybe it is. Maybe it is the fear of being judged, not by man, but by God. Am I going to be in the number? But then, when I read today’s reflection and the passage from Exodus, I thought to myself…my fear is a good thing. I always hear people (me included) saying that they don’t care what people think of them. It’s alright to say that. I think what we mean is we make difficult decisions in our lives that people who are on the outside looking in have no idea how anguished  we were over those decisions. They have no stake in the outcome of these decisions, but they always want to put their two cents in. They want you to leave your spouse, but where are they when you can’t sleep at night, pay your bills or comfort your ailing child? They want you to put your child on the street. They can’t remember that they were Hell on wheels during their teenage years, too. They want you to quit your job because your coworkers are "getting on your nerves". Can they pay their bills and yours too? Can you move in with them and their family when you get evicted? They want to be involved in all of the decisions concerning you and yours so that they can watch you suffer and fall apart while they turn their back and go on living their lives.
So, No, I don’t care what these people think. They can give opinions, advice, or whatever it is that they have to give, but they are not God. And in the end I care what He thinks. I think that this is why I have that feeling in my stomach. I want Him to be happy with me. I want him to go down the list: Did she have any other Gods before Me? No. Check.  Did she make idols? No. Check . Did she misuse my name? Keep the Sabbath Holy? Honor her Father and Mother? Commit murder, adultery, theft? Give false testimony? Covet her neighbor’s husband, house, poolboy, maidservant, and car? Check, check, check check….

I guess I don’t care what people think, but I DO care what God thinks. And because I know what He has commanded me to do and who He has commanded me to be, I am fearful.  



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